Converts today's date to it's Discordian equivalent.

By : niall

<?php
/*
Author: Niall Sheridan
Email: ns@niallsheridan.com
Date: 61 Discord 3168
Purpose:
Converts the current date to its Discordian equivalent.
Much like the ddate program on *nix systems.
Except that there's no date formatting.
And it only does the current date.
License: GPL
*/

function ddate() {
$season_list=array("Chaos", "Discord", "Confusion", "Bureaucracy", "The Aftermath");
$day_list=array("Sweetmorn", "Boomtime", "Pungenday", "Prickle-Prickle", "Setting Orange");
$a_holiday=array("Mungday", "Mojoday", "Syaday", "Zaraday", "Maladay"); // Apostle holidays. Occur on 5th of every season.
$s_holiday=array("Chaoflux", "Discoflux", "Confuflux", "Bureflux", "Afflux"); // Seasonal holidays. Occur on 50th of every season
$now=getdate();
$dyear=$now["year"]+1166;
$yday=$now["yday"];
$mon=$now["mon"];
$mday=$now["mday"];
$dseason=(int)($yday/73);
$name_season=$season_list[$dseason];
$dday=($yday-(73*$dseason))+1;
$fizz=$dday%10;
switch ($fizz) {
case 1:
$dday.="st";
break;
case 2:
$dday.="nd";
break;
case 3:
$dday.="rd";
break;
default:
$dday.="th";
}
$dweekday=$day_list[($yday%5)];
$ddate=$dweekday.", ".$dday." ".$name_season.", ".$dyear.".";
if ($dday==5) {
$ddate.=" Celebrate ".$a_holiday[$dseason].".";
} elseif ($dday==50) {
$ddate.=" Celebrate ".$s_holiday[$dseason].".";
} elseif ($mon==2 && $mday==29) {
$ddate="Celebrate St. Tib's Day!"; //Hurrah!
}
echo $ddate;
}
?>

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